In the time before events were recorded,
Called the "Pre-historic age" if memr'y serves;
People back then seemed to muddle through
Primarily on the strength of their nerves.
Neanderthals had no language - to speak of
No learning - and none did they crave;
But they were smart enough to know there were
"thangs" out there
So they built a fire in the mouth of the cave.
Thousands of years have gone by since then
And each generation has had ideas to hatch;
But the smartest invention of the common man
Has, undoubtedly, got to be…. The LATCH.
The Pilgrims come by their smarts the hard way
Their descendants came to know even more;
One great piece of advise was passed down the
When it gets dark, go inside and LATCH THE
There are "thangs" out there that'll grab you
And scare you out of ten years of growth;
It's better to do like our ancestors did;
Build a fire…. latch the door…. Or BOTH.
I've known even brave men to tremble
At things that "go bump in the night;"
It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn
That even John Wayne has had him a fright.
I was raised by my parents to be a gentleman
With manners suitable to the task;
Open doors for the ladies; say "Yes, Ma'am," and
And, if you want something, be polite and ask.
I've practiced the manners they taught me
I'm a nice guy right down to the core;
But, if we're out there in the dark
Lady…. Don't ye' GIT ‘tween me and that
Sam Elmore - October 1993